Most of us spend our lives planning. We plan holidays, birthdays, retirement, even what we’re having for Sunday lunch. But when it comes to our funeral, many people prefer not to think about it at all. Understandably so, death feels distant, uncomfortable, and often too final to face.
But what if planning your funeral service could bring peace of mind, not just for you, but for the family and friends you’ll one day leave behind? What if you could lift a weight from their shoulders and ensure your farewell reflects the person you truly are?
Writing your funeral service may sound unusual, but an increasing number of people are opting to do just that. As a professional celebrant, I help individuals create their ceremonies, selecting the music, words, messages, and memories that hold the most significance for them. And the results are always deeply moving, often joyful, and, above all, personal.
Here are five powerful reasons why you might want to consider writing your funeral service before you die.
1. You Ease the Burden on Those You Love
Losing someone is painful. It can be overwhelming, exhausting, and emotional. Now imagine having to plan a funeral on top of that, choosing music, writing a eulogy, picking readings, and trying to guess what the person would have wanted. It’s a lot.
By writing your service in advance, you’re giving your family and friends the greatest gift of all: time and space to grieve, without the pressure of getting everything right. You take away the uncertainty and the second-guessing. Instead of worrying about what to say, they can show up, listen, cry, laugh, and remember you with love.
2. You Get to Tell Your Own Story
Nobody knows your life like you do. You’ve lived it, breathed it, laughed and cried through it. So why not tell it in your own words?
When you write your funeral service, you have the chance to reflect on your journey. You can highlight the people who mattered most, the adventures that shaped you, the moments you’ll never forget. You can include stories that made you laugh, lessons you learned the hard way, and even dreams you never quite fulfilled.
Most importantly, you get to be the narrator. Your voice, your humour, your memories. It’s a final chance to tell the story of your life the way it deserves to be told.
3. You Can Say Thank You (and I Love You)
There’s something deeply comforting about knowing your final words will be heard.
Writing your service allows you to say the things that sometimes go unspoken: thank you, I’m proud of you, I forgive you, I love you. Whether it’s a personal message to your partner, a warm nod to lifelong friends, or a few words for your children and grandchildren, this is your chance to leave something lasting.
These moments of connection often stay with people long after the service has ended. They become part of your legacy. A final act of kindness that helps your loved ones feel close to you, even after you’re gone.
4. You Choose the Music and Readings That Reflect You
Music is incredibly powerful. One piece of music can bring a whole room to tears or fill it with joy and laughter. The same goes for poetry, readings, and quotes.
When you write your service, you get to choose exactly what you want people to hear. You might pick a favourite song from your youth, a classical piece that lifts the soul, or a track that gets toes tapping and heads nodding. You might want a poem that captures your spirit or a reading that speaks to your beliefs.
This isn’t about being morbid. It’s about expressing your personality, your tastes, and your unique outlook on life. Whether it’s Elvis or Elgar, The Beatles or a beloved hymn, your choices will bring you into the room in the most beautiful way.
5. You Take Control and Reassure Your Family
So many people I work with say the same thing: “I just don’t want my family to worry.” That desire, to take the stress away from the people we care about, is incredibly powerful.
By writing your service now, you’re showing that you’ve thought it through. That you care. That you’ve considered what’s right for you and them. You may even want to discuss it with them, or leave the details with a trusted friend or celebrant, so everything is ready when the time comes.
This isn’t about being sombre or dramatic. It’s about being practical and compassionate. And for many people, it offers a quiet sense of reassurance. You know what’s coming, and you’ve taken steps to make it easier for those you leave behind.
A Gentle Way to Begin
If you’re unsure where to start, that’s completely normal. Writing your funeral service doesn’t have to happen all at once. It can begin with a simple conversation. A favourite piece of music. A memory that won’t let go.
At Forget Me Not Celebrant, I offer a gentle, guided service to help you begin that process. Together, we’ll talk through what matters to you, what you’d like to include, and how you’d like to be remembered. You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be open to the idea that your story is worth telling, in your way, and in your words.
Whether you’re planning ahead for retirement, updating your will, or simply trying to make life easier for your family, this is a thoughtful and beautiful step. It’s also one of the most loving things you can do.
Because your life deserves to be celebrated. Properly. Personally. And with love.
Ready to begin?
I’d be honoured to help you write your ceremony. Visit Forget Me Not Celebrant or get in touch today to learn more.